It is so easy to get caught up in the “X years from now” narrative. We all have goals and aspirations for down the line, but all too often, we forget some of the negative side effects that come along with those:
Tunnel Vision – With so much focus on the goal in mind, you lose sight of other opportunities that might present themselves.
Lack of Presence – When you find yourself in a daily rhythm, you forget to watch what’s unfolding right before your eyes.
Unpreparedness for Variables – There are so many things can change that are purely outside of our own control.
Tunnel Vision
This can be applied to any aspect of life, but let’s take the example of Billy Bob. Billy wants to get married and have kids in 5 years. Billy has been dating Sally Sue for six months and decides it’s time to pop the question. Married to Sally for just over a year, Billy finds himself in an unusually close relationship with Jessie Jay. Though he finds himself emotionally closer with Jessie, he continues down his path so he can have kids.
Take the converse. Lucie Lou wants to find the perfect guy in 3 years. She continually dates around searching for the right guy, but seemingly never clicks, hoping for the “perfect” guy to be right around the corner. Rather than seeing out a further relationship with any of the guys she’s dated, she becomes so focused on the idea of the perfect guy, she loses sight of what could be the perfect guy right in front of her.
Whether you’re working towards a professional goal, relationship goal, or otherwise. Maybe your family desperately needs your support – are you going to be there when they need it the most? Or are you going to let yourself get bogged down. Maybe you get a call to show up at a gathering where you might meet your next employer or investor or lover… are you going to go? Or will you be so focused that you don’t let yourself see out the opportunity?
Lack of Presence
Tunnel vision and presence almost go hand in hand. Tunnel vision is a byproduct of lack of presence, but over an extended period. So, to home in on presence, let’s take the analogy of a hike. It’s like hiking a trail… the objective is to get to the top, so you start walking. You could go all the way to the top without thinking about the steps you’re taking along the way… But what if you took a breath? What if you turned around and took in the view. What if you took a moment to draw your focus in on what is right in front of you right now.
In the same exact way, it’s easy to go to fall into a rhythm, going to work every day, working towards your goal. But if you’re constantly focused on the long-term objective, you’ll miss out on so much of what life is all about. You have to fall in love with the process of whatever you’re doing, be thankful for the small wins, and even more grateful for the outcome.
Unpreparedness for Variables
We were all witness to the 2020. We know how the unexpected can drastically alter the road ahead. Maybe it does alter your path maybe it doesn’t; whatever the case, it’s essential to become agile and ensure you can properly adapt goals if need be. No, I’m not advocating for moving goal posts, but if something truly out of your control does end up uprooting a significant part of your life, an adjustment may be required.
Yes, these are all cliches, but they go to illustrate a very real point, especially today when success and idealization are so prevalent in the lives of Americans. No longer are the days of growing up on a whim, watching things grow organically, and evolving naturally with those around you. We are in such a speed trap, it is increasingly easier to lose sight of what opportunities could come about, what is unfolding before your eyes, and what other random things might get thrown in the mix.
Attempt to adhere to the idealistic “in so many years from now” vision or don’t, but either way be prepared for the unexpected, be prepared to take a deep breath, and be prepared to take it all in.
Death & New Beginnings
I struggle to find the words to properly begin this. The month of January was unseasonably tough for my family. Between lost animals and two grandfathers passing within a week of one another, we’ve seen enough loss for the entirety of the year, but as they say, when it rains, it pours. Contrarily, the past two weeks have been incredibly powerful in re-grounding, seeing the importance and scarcity of life, and leaning into the world.
These passings were not only an issue of variables, but of presence. Having already planned to move to NYC in the second week of January, I had to make the proper arrangements (presence in the form of being there for family) to attend both funerals (variables).
In NYC, I have now moved stuff three times - initially to my aunt’s place, then to a friends’, and now to my new temporary home. Having spent about one week at each location prior, I have finally settled on a home in Williamsburg for the next four months.
My grandfather Mitchel Sieniawski was born in Jersey City in 1933 and grew up in Williamsburg in Brooklyn, NY during WWII. When sugar was rationed during the way, he would walk down the block to his father’s workplace – the Domino Sugar Factory – to get some rock candy his dad would toss him from the window at lunch time, coincidentally, only blocks away from where I'll be living.
The past two weeks have been quite the doozy – going, going, going. But fortunately, I’ve been able to slow down and get rid of the tunnel vision that can be so hard to avoid in a fast-paced city like New York. The path for NOMADIQ has been long, and I know that the path ahead is even longer, but when I step back and look at the journey, I couldn’t possibly be happier.
It’s so easy to become distracted, become preoccupied with so many different things, especially with the constant bombardment of all that surrounds us. Don’t forget to stop, take a look back at your journey, and take a breath. Whether you’re at a high or at a low, there’s always time for reflection and appreciation.
Moving to New York is not only a huge step in my personal life, but a huge step for NOMADIQ. So many more updates to come, but I’ll leave it here for now.
Shoutouts:
AA – Thank you for letting me crash at your place, couldn’t be more grateful for such a supportive person to always have in my corner.
LS – Can’t wait for everything that lies ahead… we are in the land of endless opportunity, and I couldn’t be more excited to share it with someone.
AH – Safe travels, don’t have too much fun and don’t forget to try the marmite…
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